Partying like a rockstar is so 87
My thoughts flyMy thoughts wander
I am my thoughts,
And they are me.
I feel such peace right now…
Inexplicably.
I am myself,
I am no one.
I see a face in the mirror that I simultaneously recognize and am startled by.
She is me, but she is…
A patchwork quilt of my thoughts.
…remember? “I am my thoughts and they are me”
I am never alone.
I am greedy.
I am…
Never satisfied and never distraught.
My sweet tooth disappeared,
And I am left with you in its place.
I don’t even know what to do with you—
Dessert is to eat, but what are YOU for?
Oh, I’ll think of something…
I always do.
You are for holding hands with in a warm snow,
Or kissing in a cool rain.
You are of precipitation,
For you burst from clouds and soak into the rich earth as it crumbles around my roots.
You whisper up through me,
like photosynthesis
and shimmer across my leaves,
Like dew drops.
I once knew a man who was mostly a boy.
And he had a quiet soul, a solid center.
He was not broken, he was not undone.
This.
This was what made him a man.
I remember him well, even though it was so long ago.
I wonder where he is now, with eyes of melted chocolate.
I wonder if his dreams came true.
I wonder if he ever fell in love,
Or if he still smiles like that when a woman is riding him, moaning.
I remember how it felt to not let go, to not allow myself.
I remember that he was a charmer who couldn’t charm me.
Looking back, those days have a silver hue, like a black-and-white film.
They were surreal even then, but now…they seem never to have existed.
I wonder if…I wonder if.
It is time.
Time to start the book.
Nothing else really matters, or should.
People matter.
But that’s different.
Big Halloween weekend coming up.
Parties and candy and costumes and—
Scary movies!
Which is a really wise decision for someone who spends at least half of her nights alone.
?????
Stooopid girl.
I don’t do well with scary movies and being alone.
Astronomy homework due tomorrow…good thing I started it tonight with the intention of getting a head start—and I considered skipping class tomorrow!
What the hell is up with me and my lack of focus???
I.
Suck.
Truly, I do.
And just because I’m good at it doesn’t make it ok!
Have a happy…uh….what day will it be tomorrow?
Thursday.
And give out a couple of random compliments. |
posted by Bored Housewife at
10:41 PM
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