Some guy on the street corner handed me this--
On the back it says that the million dollar question is "Are you going to heaven?"
Well, duh.
Of COURSE I am!!
I created heaven.
I created hell.
I choose.....
hmmm....
tough call.
I mean, in the heaven I created, there are a lot of the things that some people would imagine there being in hell, and in my version of hell there are all the self-righteous pricks, so there ya go.
I do love the million dollar bill, though.
And you can hardly see the religious fanatic print on the back.
So, rock on.
Breaking news:
I have just developed carpal tunnel syndrome from Wii Bowling...
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
That's so lame.
I am so lame.
Or...wrist-gimpy?
Whatever.
The Easter Bunny (which I am at this moment picturing as a BugsBunnyCrossDresser-esque Jesus in a playboy bunny outfit, complete with ears...) brought my kids lots of chocolate.
He/she even remembered at the last moment to hide the plastic eggs filled with candy.
WE, on the other hand, gave the kids some thoughtful and talent-inspiring gifts.
An electronic keyboard for Oliver, who starts piano lessons Tuesday!!! (stoked am I)
And a set of youth tennis rackets and a couple of cans of balls for Max, who has been batting a tennis ball around with our raquet ball racket ever since he fell in love with tennis via the Wii(a).
(Sorry...I can't fight it! I have Rhyme Disease...I think I caught it once while hiking in the woods; deer tick, etc.)
AND.
They are both ecstatic with their new hobbies--and are even pleasantly interested in each other's stuff, but not jealous.
This is like, a new frontier and shit.
I am suddenly raising children instead of babies.
Or animals...
ack.
They are the apples of my eye(s).
And, not to rub it in or anything, but they are truly the most handsome little boys in their entire school, if not the world.
Actually I find it hysterical that we are all such bloody narcissists as to believe our own mini-mes are the most beautiful creations on god's earth.
Or if they look more like our spouse, well...duh! Of course we think they're beautiful, we mated with their progenitor, didn't we???
Good stuff.
I miiiiiiight have found the general theme for my big novel project...
And I did spend all afternoon (yesterday) indexing my "magazine writer's market" book.
Mostly bookmarked fiction submission info, but there were a few traditional magazines that grabbed my attention.
I am
at long last
getting serious about this shit.
And I have to say, it feels great.
Cuz...here's a tip to all you other literarily well-endowed strippers out there:
It's the ones that go after it that get published, not the BEST.
True story.
Have you read some of the shit they have in your local library???
Pure, utter cow poo.
We could all out-write those foo fighters in our collective sleep...mmm....just pictured a giant, silk-covered bed with all of us sprawled out....
Ok, so anyway, you get the point.
I would highly encourage all of you dears to get out there and submit work.
If I can have a piece accepted by a beautiful literary journal, so can you.
Wooot!
happy Easter, bunnies-- |
posted by Bored Housewife at
5:45 PM
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