When the wind blows
I still tend to rock....because I am a rocker at heart.
With a soul that can roll.
So...
hot on the heels of losing a best friend
(who was somehow able to make me feel like it's ok)
I am now losing another.
I celebrate her success, I squeal with delight over the job offer.
I feel true joy for her future.
But.
Then in the quiet of my empty house I realize...
she'll be on the other side of the country now.
And we've never been phone-chatters, but I know we'll figure it out.
I just have to sigh at this turn of events.
Because now what?
I have other friends.
But.
Some of them cause tension in my house, so I can't fully dive into the warm embrace of their love, and some of them are not yet a deeper part of my life--
the casual friends, the good acquaintences.
I know I can count on them to pick up the slack, and I know that there are other dear souls out there for me to love.
But for now, I just want to cry.
I don't do well without a solid Best Friend around.
It's not that I'm weak...
I just don't know how not to have one.
Kindergarten was a blur,
but when I met Julie in my first grade class, as we sat by the coat racks playing with those awesome plastic/rubber horses!
Oh, it was like finding a sister.
Oddly enough, I already had a sister named Julie.
She was prim and proper (still is) and did not share my daydream-believing, queen of homecoming to-be ways!
My surrogate sister did, though.
I've talked about her a lot, and she's not the one leaving, but you know me and TANGENTS!!
The point is, from that day on, as a not-yet-6-and-a-half-year-old, shy as hell girl, I have had at least one super close friend and it's just not getting any easier when our life paths move us apart.
Each of them is still dear to me, and I wouldn't consider them "lost".
Jasmine is about to move to the east coast, to take her dream job and I am so completely thrilled for her.
I'll be ok.
I just have pms today and I'm feeling rather friendless at the moment.
POOR, POOR, ME!!
Wah.
Sniff.
Guess what I should really be saying right now?
Thank you, dear universe, for sending me such amazing friends and allowing me to love and be loved by them for whatever length of time we have.
Yes.
I believe that.
I will just miss our hikes and our walks and our bottles of Reisling.
I hate Utah.
(just haven't said that for a while; it doesn't really apply)
I should really try not to post when the hormones are raging.
Heh.
Well.
The next two days are devoted to moving poo at my MIL's house, so pray for me.
Or drink for me...
That woman has more stuff in the smallest room of her house than I have in my ENTIRE house.
I swear to thumb-suckin' baby Jesus!
At least our friends are coming over to watch the next Jazz game tomorrow night instead of just a bunch of guys I don't really know and am not allowed to flirt with.
heh.
Peace out.
Or in...?
eh, whichever. |
posted by Bored Housewife at
9:50 PM
<< Home