Well, well, well
I had something funny to tell you...but I can't remember.
Has anyone noticed the pendulum of my emotions swinging fast these days?
Sorry...
While I'm trying to remember the funny thing, I'll tell you the Mormon story of the week.
Knock on the door, missionaries standing there.
Apparently one of my neighbors is sinning lately and sent them my way as penance.
Or hates me.
Anyway, they asked if I was Sister Anderson.
"No," I said, "I'm MRS. Anderson."
This makes me giggle like a whole car full of 13 year old girls!
And then they said they wanted to share their message with my family.
I explained that we were both raised Mormon but my husband is a "devout atheist" and that "I am, well...very much not Mormon."
"Oh," he said. "Well. I know this is the true gospel and--"
Smiling like a Stepford wife I cut him off.
"I'm sure that you do, and that's nice for you. But, I happen to know that it's not true, and that's pretty nice for me. Thanks anyway! Have a nice day!"
I was wearing this shirt and it's frickin cold out there.
Lucky bastards.
I guess I'm wearing a bra in this shot...I thought I wasn't.
I have decided to cook a giant Thanksgiving style feast some day soon.
Who wants to come?
See, we didn't have a traditional feast this year and I just feel a sense of loss.
Maybe I'm projecting the inner turmoils of my sex-ay soul, but I do think I'll feel better about life if I order the 21 pound free range turkey from my milk man (they're offering so much fantastic, high quality shiz now! Organic produce, hormone free dairy, bakery fresh breads...mouth watering...dinner time....) and whip up a giant pan of mashed potatoes, a couple of pumpkin pies (the favorite flavor for all the men in my life), open a couple of cans of what should be nasty but isn't--cranberry sauce--and a sweet potatah pie!
Chroist, but that sounds awesome!
Oh, and I forgot to mention the stuffing and the gravy and the rolls...
fuck, man, fuck!!
Ok, it's on.
I'll invite...
just a few people, I think.
I get too frazzled by large groups.
I'd rather have a quiet and leisurely meal.
And then get sloshed.
Still haven't remembered my story.
It had something to do with this morning.
Hm...
maybe I was just going to report on my therapy session?
no...
fuck.
Something about campus?
Or something I heard on the radio?
Or something I saw while driving?
Fork, fork, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!
I wish I knew.
It probably wasn't even that funny.
I remember writing that fucking wrist-slit of a post below and thinking "oh...I should tell that story, it would make for a much better post..." but not having the motivation to do so.
Fuckity, fuck, I hate my memory.
Maybe if I shed the stress/anxiety/depressionistic paintings I've been carrying around my neck I'll get my memory and vocabulary back...
I bet I'll even lose weight!
Shit, if that's not motivation to make therapy my full time job, then I don't know what is!!
I did buy a new bra today and it is deeeeeeeeeeeeee
licious.
Soft and comfy and cleavage inducing.
Some cute black chinos, too.
Of course, they were in size "you're a fatass quit eating already", but as long as they look good on, then I guess I don't care.
I am buying everything in the catalog from my party last night, too.
So that makes me happy.
I get to have a marvelous new wine bottle opener--complete with the foil cutting tool!!!
You have NO IDEA how I've yearned for one of those...
and I'm getting two new pieces of stoneware--orgasmic, truly.
They have a citrus press which will come in handy for all those guacamole dips I make,
and they have a can strainer thingy that I imagine will allow me to eat tuna again...
what? I HATE getting that smell all over my hands!
And...there were a bunch of other things, too, but I can't remember them right now.
I love the pampered chef like the daughter I'll never have!
Ok, well, I'm off to cook dinner for the kiddos, do their homework with them, and put them to bed.
Juuuust in time to cook dinner for hubby and I--
he'll be home!!
And he'll be here for a whole week, and then he's going away for two days and he won't have to travel again until after New Year's!!!!
So, Christmas tree selection time and better start shopping and yaaaaaaaaay!!
*********UPDATE********
7:15pm
I just remembered the story!
It isn't really worth all the fuss, but here goes:
So I was thinking today on my drive into the city that I would stop wearing my nose ring.
After my appointment, as I waited at a stoplight, I checked my reflection.
My nose ring was gone!!
Fuckin crazy, right?
So, then I went to the store and picked up a few things and decided to snag a new nose ring.
Oh, sure I have others, but I've been wanting a smaller one anyway...
or to stop wearing it altogether...
When I got home, I stripped down and shovelled myself into lounge wear (the fancy term for sweats and the tight shirt mentioned above...remindme to add the picture)
and saw the missing nose ring shake out of my clothes.
super sweet.
But a kinda lame story, for all that fanfare.
OH well. |
posted by Bored Housewife at
5:07 PM
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