Lying in the warm water
with the bubbles piling thick and stiff around meI let morbid and dire thoughts wash over me with the lapping of the liquid.
I tried to let my thoughts wander so I could figure out why I don't masturbate anymore.
Oh, sorry--
did I just overshare???
Well.
It's an issue.
I guess I should save it for therapy.
But it really is disturbing.
I can't conjure a decent fantasy to save my life.
Or to save my thoughts from death, or save my thoughts from being of death.
Ack
I really don't think I wear this Mopey Sue hat very well.
I mean, HELL.
For all my whining over the last 4 years of this blog (ok, not "this" blog per se),
I have never felt this shitty.
And I'm sorry for being such a frigging weakling.
I have no doubt that I'll be bouncing back soon.
All I ever do is bounce, frankly, and we're not just talkin' tits!
Ha.
I opened this page with the intention of writing something specific,
but the chattering child (who fell asleep on the couch at 5:30 and is now wide awake) distracted me.
I read something beautiful, written by someone beautiful--
from the inside right on through to the outside.
The most beautiful creature I've ever encountered, as a matter of fact.
So I read something, and a line of response-poetry trickled through me.
I need to invest in some good, sturdy, stainless steel traps for my mind, to hold such lovely little wisps of thought in place.
Nah...steel doesn't hold ether.
Tonight was a night for fading into
ether.
But I didn't.
I thought I would.
Reading those words anchored me...
somehow.
They sliced through me, and let parts of me escape into the darkness.
They relieved the pressure.
Your knowing is so deep that it leaves scars.
Your smile is so real that it eclipses not just our sun, but all suns of all systems.
You are mighty, and I am...
not. At least not right now.
But I will be again.
I will dance across oceans and swim through thick swaths of stars...
I will land lightly, laughing
and you'll be there...magically and majestically.
And.
The world will never know that its creators were disguised as us all this time.
Crap, my illusions of grandeur are showing again.
I have GOT to stop bending over in this mini skirt...
Well, there ya have it.
The fucked up and fucked down and fucked all around
contents of my head. |
posted by Bored Housewife at
10:04 PM
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